lyrics 

if i said what chose my mind i think i would not live again persecution of my brain is driving me insane then i rip off my skin again try to destroy what i became won't you get me out of here then i bit off my lips again try to forget just how it went won't you come and make me sane conversations make me scared so i have them in my head paralysis of my tongue won't make it to touch yours regrets fill my throat as i open up the door so i fill myself with pain and i won't think anymore cause when i seek at your voice it only gets unclear so i fill myself with hate and i won't get hurt again

smells like tears and sorrow seems like no tomorrow but it's no big deal no it's no big deal cause i feel better now i feel better now cause i feel sad november passed away december felt so gray but it's not ending no it's not ending cause i feel better now i feel better now cause i feel sad

it's the first day of spring bright sun shining lie in my bed with lies in my head woke up aching still feel nothing lie in my bed can't turn my head couldn't say it was my fault fought away from you can't say it was my fault i wanna let it go can't say i was the worst just not the one for you couldn't take, couldn't take those things you let me do can't say you led my world think it's good at all i don't think it's for real hole filled with emptiness lies within my chest and just to set it straight you dug it all yourself cause it's the first day of spring bright sun shining lie in my bed with lies in my head words that i sing still feel nothing lie in my bed with lies in my head

i don't wanna give my life away especially for a girl like you don't wanna waste my life away especially for a girl like you and i've tried to save your soul but it's not worth it i wanna punch all your friends for everything they do your life's a stupid film and i don't wanna be with you and i've tried to save your soul it was not worth it

i will never let you back cause i don't want to forget what it means to be alive cause if i said what chose my mind then would you kill my soul if i never became blind if i ever stopped to blink just for your dirty thoughts would you work against my soul when i try to be myself i come back it's too late if i try to end myself i won't get anywhere if my soul forgets its face the end is coming near afraid until i die if i tried to live my life without any constraints would you say i'm wrong again cause if i tried to save myself would you try to forget what i never did at all if i ever stopped to think the same way as you do would you let me get my soul back again when i try to be myself i come back it's too late and if i fight to find myself i won't get anywhere if my soul forgets its name game's over so i fear myself until i die when i try to be myself it comes back even more so i fear to break again and i don't want to let go and i don't want to forget how it feels to be alive

there's something i wanted to tell you is i don't care about a thing you do one step forward and two steps back cannot help me stay on track so instead i'll stay away don't tell me about singapore don't tell me what you did before don't tell me about singapore i don't know why i'm in for this, just for a kiss if you're not mine, your problems aren't either and i won't say about a thing i do it's nothing like a problem just something wrong with you and i won't say i love until i do

there's something wrong with me and i'm about to die something sick about me that i can't survive there's something wrong about me that i can't decide there's something wild about me and i'm about to thrive and i still forget that you're gonna die anyway, die anyway, for me you're gonna die anyway, die anyway, for me there's something sick with me i know i can't deny sometimes i scream your names in my head all the time there's something wild about me i can't decide this is called stoicism that i can't deny die anyway i'm gonna die they're gonna die you, you're gonna die as well

one two five one been there since the end of times one sight night one been dying since the end of times, cause i've been there, you've been well you're not there and i'm feeling well close the door, toilet floor might sleep there if i can close my eyes let me close my eyes and hey, look, i'm okay half sleeping through today, now which school should i go to loneliness on my mind, i cannot feel, cannot hear nonsense falling through my skin end of may, counting days i don't think it's been this bad before

we could've been friends we could've been lovers we could've been someone else never someone i've been through i don't think we've met before secret truth i don't like you you could have been better i would have been lower you could make out slower i would have been scared mourning in a shower shouldn't make you feel such warmth if the clouds were not the same would you still be crying? we could've been friends we could've been lovers we could've been so much more never had an end burning to discover never come to kill the score lying to your head drowning in your waters sorrow close on your shores i could make you sane you would make me suffer so i'll take this door i could have been better you could have been closer never want this over never wanted you couldn't love another anyone but you

said it was a lie said i want you on my mind never said i was lucky lucky to be free waiting for the end of times i like it when it hurts so don't tell me the answer if i don't have a plan i think i'll go blindfolded oh my eyes cannot see now i'm waiting to get another star check the boxes, call the guy, get inside? now that's it, tell me the answer so close now so close now it hurts waited all year long my thoughts are everlasting my heart, overlapping now it's over, now it's over right? still now i'm here, waiting for the next door i know this one will make me feel some more might say i'm a creep i know i'm out of my mind just say that i'm lucky i'm running out of time and i still don't have an answer that's okay, i'm living for my mistakes

won't you come into my brain won't you sell me denial conversations of my youth fade away won't you come into my brain won't you tell that i'm insane in time i read off here i am never out of here help me out of here, i'm dying sanctify my place of burial i cannot resempt your smile so get away, stay away come back again won't you come into my brain won't you tell that i'm insane in time i read off here i'm never out of here i crawl below the ashes of my youth fade out help me out of here, i'm dying why won't you stay why won't you stay with me

i want to give another try won't give myself up this time maybe i'm just not enough out of my soul maybe it's out of my control save me maybe i don't like it don't like the sight of you oh so crazy pretty bitch you're insane i want to give it one more try would it be different this time

when you die (you'll never) be surprised (you'll never) everything that you've ever done will be left to me why (you'll never) be surprised (you'll never) anything that you've ever said to me will all be there i don't wanna hear no i don't wanna hear no more don't wanna fear, don't wanna cry no more i know so many things you don't want to say don't wanna run, don't wanna walk away everything that you've ever been through everything that you've done you'll find out one by one through me everything one by one

you're asking for permission know that you've gone left you're asking for salvation set the trap cause i've been there, feeling well you don't stay and i'm off my way i don't care, you won't ask come and stay for dirty crimes say what you want you never know when i'll come back insanity, kill with me understand and i'll go my way i don't care, you won't ask come and stay for dirty crimes get off the way you'll never know when i'll be there hell on my way i can't afford to lose this fight

how i couldn't blame so misunderstood what about me? always such a fool i always think in black and white feelings of today suffocation in my room until doomsday just let me be myself again oh i want my days back could it be the enemy was just me up there time to leave despair behind i feel bad, i feel sad in here lend me your way pardon me as if it was still yesterday how i couldn't see months of life go bye now i'm stuck here regrets creeping at my past don't let me be myself again i'm not strong and i'm scared could it be the enemy was just me up there time to leave this place behind could it be the enemy let me out of my despair

mortified, beautiful i've been locked a thousand times dead alive, more than real more than met my eyes before just leave me be send me on my way waste my time, to decide walk forward or just stand by? you're strong, much more now get yourself out of my way i would do anything, for you would have done anything, too poncho man was never you dogmatic is oneself said before, said before for the world never let me think how i should go my way you never let me know how deep know just why you think so deep just leave me be send me on my way poncho man was never you dogmatic is oneself

can't feel my head cast iron pillow big fool i become again no sun in sight no power to believe got no excuse empty at heaven's gate i left the pillow they said it wasn't free i'll give you all out of control i seek to ride it see through i become and i'm still here without you i'm afraid to be i'm not scared to be burn in black fault to the sailor living by your signals learn to ditch my past tomorrow sure i'll never be in inner state

you won't see anything walk on why can't you see you're on my way won't do anything at all you can't see me i can't see why you can't see that you wannabe and don't come back asking to come and play music together "it would be fun" cause it's not fun it has never been playing music with you is a sin

do what i want but it's hard to see do what i want but it's hard to keep it free it's what i do best and i mean it say it when i want say it when i please and i'm free to do it again i never wanna be like you i never wanna be you do what i want but it's hard for me do what i want but it's hard to keep it free you see i give you time to be i give you time to fulfill destiny it's what i do best and i mean it say it when i want say it when i please and you're still winning can't stand still send it where i want send it where i please i say i'm free to do it again don't want to play your game of life don't want to live your lie

i take the dog out overstating my silence contemplating the pride in me compensating my pride i take it out now overstating the silence compensating the life of me overstating my lies and i disagree with what you thought of me i'll instigate and show you what i'm made of check out now compensating the life out confident in your lies i'm still here you feel the same then you make a mistake in your head get smacked in the face for another chance get ready to face for another fight get ready to fight for life

so that's what you've been doing for the past few years right you've been getting so good getting everything in your face into my face what did you say, do you wanna get fucked up out of my way i don't give a fuck about this fucking day rapid, sure insecure fighting your mind now you've gone insane cause you're the top of the notch the mirror stares back hard, rapid, insecure what did you do to stay here i try but i'm always outnumbered always behind you've been back at it again i don't even know what i'm saying cause this doesn't makes sense at all and you keep winning, staying, killing yourself out of my life get out of the way i don't give a fuck about what you've got to say just wait until i come back from hell you'll suffer it's when you realize you're nothing but a saint you've said it, you want it again walk on, sail on come again, disarray won't stop, sail on come again now

it's my life and what do i get confusion and selfish/sopping mistakes i don't even/really know what your game is all i know right now is that i wanna punch your face you dare think you know me / you don't wanna fight me i don't think you know what you want you keep serenading but what's keeping you from the war confusion rising i don't think you know what you'll get i won't give you my respect until you step out from this war maybe now there's something inside you something that is screaming to get out of you "i don't wanna", "i don't lie" well i know myself and my own lies out of power/on the wire yesterday i know why i chase these days i know why but it's not today/i'm not to blame it won't go my way i want it my way don't think i ever saw you apologize you lie, there's bat shit in your eyes you think that you have the answers you don't know shit i don't blame you for the things that you know wrong i can't trust you for the things that you've done wrong before but leave it to me / believing to me coming to be what would you rather be bleeding in silence or crushing with fear what would you rather see pushing with violence and towering fear infinite power, crumble in fear what would you rather be shining with brightness or pulsing with fear polluted kindness or confusing blindness, or power in fear you will never see the wrong you do you'll always be the one i choose nothing bothers the truth / nothing will bother you you will never see the wrong you do i can't let you (i) can't let you be be who/what i choose the one i choose